(In case the "Part II" didn't alert you to the fact that this is a continuation, go read this first.)
Part I left off at Super Bowl weekend during my senior year of college. All sorts of stuff not relevant to this story happens, and my posse and I graduate in May. (Except for Tojo, who got kicked out of his school for not going to class, that lazy shit.) Real life kicks off for most of us, and hey! It turns out that real life is not nearly as fun as college. Boo.
Somewhere in the passing year, I hear from Dr. ManDiva and/or facebook that PartyBoy and AntiPartyGirl have gotten engaged. Yay for them, I guess? They seemed a little on the young side, but my rule of thumb has always been "you should be of legal drinking age at your own wedding reception", and by that point, both of them passed that test, so I wasn't going to argue. We all merrily go about living our lives and sometime after the one-year anniversary of our graduation, I go out with Dr. ManDiva and some other members of the Hussy Posse.
"Did you hear about what happened with PartyBoy and AntiPartyGirl?" he asks me.
"I did not."
He fills me in on the gossip. (This shall be a vague summary because 1) this conversation took place a long time ago and 2) it didn't have anything to do with me directly, so I admit my attention was sort of in and out.) PartyBoy and AntiPartyGirl did, in fact, get engaged and started planning a lavish wedding. There were engagement parties and showers and all sorts of other celebrations, during which Dr. ManDiva and two of his friends dropped some serious cash on a gift, as even the cheapest thing on their wedding registry was expensive enough that it had to be split three ways. All was good, until it came time to choose a wedding date.
PartyBoy suggests a date within a few months. AntiPartyGirl hems and haws and doesn't want to commit to it. She suggests a date a year from PartyBoy's suggestion. He is not happy with this. They argue. He tells her that if she doesn't want to marry him in a few months, what's going to change her mind in a year? She agrees with his logic...and calls the whole thing off. Oops. That backfired slightly, methinks.
PartyBoy was devestated, and Dr. ManDiva and one of the gift sharers decide to take him out to a baseball game to cheer him up a week after the breakup. They go to the game, and he seems to be in better spirits...until they run into AntiPartyGirl. Who is there with another guy. A guy who she had always claimed was "just a friend". It was clear that he wasn't. Ouch. Ouch.
I resist the urge to call up NotBrendanFraser right then and there to bitch him out yet again. Why? By my logic, had he not pulled the pussyblock that night over a year ago, PartyBoy and I would have had a sublime night of ecstasy, which could have led to a dissolution of this doomed relationship in a number of ways. Sure, the breakup would have hurt either way, but breaking up with a girlfriend is a lot less painful than than cancelling a wedding and debating whether or not to return the very expensive gifts your friends and family have bought you. I maintain that by trying to help his friend and interfering, NotBrendanF actually did MORE damage in the long run. Moral of the story: the pussyblock is very rarely a good move. Don't do the pussyblock. Ever.
Anyway, I file this information away in my head for later use and more time passes. Dr. ManDiva comes home for Thanksgiving and starts planning a New Year's Eve party. It is decided that NotBrendanF and his brother will host the party in the house they now share in their hometown and as they live two hours away from most of us, we can crash there for the night.
The lightbulb goes on over my head and I ask Dr. ManDiva 1) if PartyBoy is going to be at the party and 2) if he's currently seeing anyone. He tells me yes and no, in that order. Win! Not long after this, the oh-so-helpful facebook alerts me to PartyBoy's birthday. I send him a cute little note wishing him a happy birthday, asking how he's been, and suggesting that it would be really great to see him at NotBrendanF's party. He happily responds and tells me that I should definitely go to the party and catch up with him. Hell yes, I will.
The Hussy Posse makes a traditional late-night run to the super-skeevy White Castle in the middle of the night and I fill the rest of them in on what's been going on. "Guys," I start, "I really want to hook up with this guy. I need a plan."
One of the other posse members, Scut, shakes his head at me and rolls his eyes. "Jen, what are you talking about?" he sighs in exasperation. "You're a woman and you're hot. You don't need a plan to get laid. You walk up to a man and say 'Have sex with me!' End of story."
He may have had a point. And I didn't have a better plan anyway, so all I could do was wait for New Year's to roll around. Roll around it did, and Dr. ManDiva, Tojo, and I pile into one of the Present-Sharer's car with our overnight gear and head back up to the frozen wastelands of upstate New York. Due to our longer travel time, we are the last to arrive at the party; PartyBoy is already there, along with some other guys and a random chick. (THE MANATEE WAS NOT PRESENT.) PartyBoy and I are excited to learn that our sizzling chemistry has not vanished in the year and a half since we've last seen each other and the game is on.
It is a party, after all, so we start out with some beer pong in the kitchen. Obviously, PartyBoy and I ensure we are on the same team and there is all sorts of inappropriate behavior.
"If you don't make this shot, I'm going to slap your ass!"
"...So am I supposed to be making the shot or not?"
The teasing continues, but there are other people around, so it doesn't progress much past the grabbing of asses. I notice the random chick casting a glance at PartyBoy, and I pull her aside to let her know "he's mine tonight, bitch". She concedes this and lets me know that she has her eye on NotBrendanF anyway. I'm almost interested in this, but I have better things to do.
Eventually, everyone else goes into the living room to drink more and smoke a little, and PartyBoy and I are left alone in the kitchen. I was only at this party for about an hour before his tongue was in my mouth. I guess Scut was right after all.
We sneak kisses here and there in between bouts of Guitar Hero and watching the ball drop at midnight (more kissing there, of course). Now that it's after midnight, it's time to REALLY get things started. NotBrendanF calls a cab and we (me, him, PartyBoy, Dr. ManDiva, Tojo, and the random chick) all cram inside in a vaguely not-legal situation. We get downtown to where the clubs are and as soon as we get out of the cab, Tojo, who is drunk and high and on his second shirt of the evening since he vomited on the first one, bolts. He went to college in this town (before the dumb shit flunked out) and he knows where we're going, so we decide not to go after him and head to our chosen club.
There's loud music and more alcohol and lots of grinding and groping and making out and it's a damn good time. Somewhere in there, PartyBoy tells me he has a confession: he hasn't seen any action since his breakup with AntiPartyGirl. I give him the "buh??" look and refuse to believe him, as he's still a total hottie. He tells me it's true. I tell him we're going to change that.
Hours pass and after an entertaining moment where some drunk guy tried to cut in front of us at the coat check line, made a scene, and got tossed out on his ass by the bouncer, we decide it's time to head back to the house. Calls to Tojo are unsuccessful, as his cell phone ran out of battery power, but somehow, he miraculously stumbles upon us as we're leaving the bar and helps us look for a cab. As you can imagine, it is difficult to find one, as it's New Year's Eve and it is snowing. PartyBoy and I frolic hand-in-hand for a bit and cuddle under the snowflakes, but eventually, Dr. ManDiva finds a cab with only one passenger inside, and we hijack it and probably scare the shit out of this poor stranger.
We get back to the house and Dr. ManDiva pulls me aside. He tells me that he has the keys to his younger brother's dorm (as his brother still went to school in that town) and was planning on sleeping there so he wouldn't have to sleep on the floor. He invites me back with him and offers me the "sure thing". I sincerely thank him for the offer, because we did have some awesome sex from time to time, but I tell him that I want to see this thing through with PartyBoy. He understands and takes off.
The rest of us change into our pajamas and spread out our sleeping bags. I set up near the edge of the room, PartyBoy is next to me, Tojo is next to him, and everyone else is scattered about on the floor and the couches. (NotBrendanF went to his bedroom, of course...the random chick joined him, but he told us the next day he turned her down because he had a girlfriend at the time.) Tojo, that dumb shit (are we sensing a recurring theme here?), realizes that he left his pillow at home, so he takes his plastic grocery bag of clothing and decides to rest his head on that.
The lights are turned out and PartyBoy and I resume our kissing and groping. Our plan is to wait until everyone else is asleep and then really get down to business. (And by "business", I obviously mean "sex".) We have fun passing the time, but every time we think that everyone else is asleep, we hear the rustle of plastic from Tojo flopping around on his makeshift pillow. Oh, Tojo. *sigh*
Frustrated, we eventually realize that our original plan is not going to work out (and why the thought of going into the other room and fucking on the beer pong table never crossed our minds, I'll never know) and we need to do something less...conspicuous. He fingers me and it's decent. I reach around for the unpierced penis and know that it's my turn to reciprocate.
I quietly duck my head under the sleeping bag and make sure that everything's out in the open and easily accessible. I take his dick in my hands, go to put it in my mouth...and as soon as the head passes my lips, he comes.
...
Wha?
Since I'm a Classy Hussy, I did the right thing and went through the motions until I was sure he was completely done. And since I'm classy, I didn't bring it to his attention. (I'm sure he didn't need me to point out that he only lasted about five seconds...you know, based on this and the Death By Blowjob story, I'm starting to think that my skills in this area really are far above average.) We wrap our arms around each other and get into the snuggling position; once I'm sure that he's asleep, I extract myself from his grip and scoot over a few inches to fall asleep on my own. Jentastic don't cuddle, yo. Don't fucking touch me when I'm trying to sleep.
The morning comes, we all go eat breakfast, watch a movie, and say our farewells. PartyBoy and I give each other a half-assed hug and pretend we're going to call each other in the next few weeks before he heads back to the city where he'd been living following graduation. Everything is always shared with the posse, so when Dr. ManDiva and I go out for sushi a few days later, I spill all the details. Up to and including the shortest blowjob ever. He finds this very interesting and ponders it for a few moments.
"Well, he did say that he hadn't gotten any in a long time," I remind him.
"True. And your boobs are a LOT bigger and nicer than AntiPartyGirl's," he points out.
"Also true. Anyway, I'm really glad we didn't actually have sex. That would have been an epic disappointment. I would have been very unfulfilled."
"I told you you should have come with me that night."
Even though it didn't work out the exact way I had planned, I still consider this a move into the "win" column. It took me almost two years, but I eventually finished what I started, dammit. So there you have it. I guess I am a far more patient person than I originally thought.
(a quick little coda to this story: The following year, Dr. ManDiva hosted the New Year's Eve party at his parents' vacation house. I was already dating Husband by that point and brought him along. Upon our arrival, I was interested to learn that PartyBoy's hotness factor had dropped considerably since the previous year's festivities. I guess living on nothing but take-out will do that to you. Anyway, he hit on me all night, tried to reminisce about the good time we had, and went to kiss me when Husband was in the bathroom. I pushed him away and told him he'd already had his chance and if he wanted me, he should have picked up the damn phone a year ago. I still think I win.)
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