When adults say teenagers are reckless, they lie. They're not reckless. They're stupid. PLAIN FUCKING STUPID. At least many of the ones I knew and even myself. I won't lie, I did MANY idiotic things. I was a fast runner (still am, actually), so I thought that if I got into a shitty situation, I could either fight my way out or run away.
This happened one february 8. I had just turned 18 a few days ago and was officially an adult. What do many kids think when they reach age majority? That's right! They think that they're adults!
Well, let's be frank... They're not. Many of them have their heads right in the middle of their childhood or are too dumb to do something as basic as MEASURING THE RISKS AHEAD!
I learned that all on my own that night and believe me, the cost was free because a) I'm still alive and b) I'm still complete.
So the setting of the Idiot Adventure Volume One is this:
A few friends had invited me to a party they were throwing. They were WAY older than me. One of them was 27, another was 29 and the other was 33. In retrospect, they were among the most idiotic people I have ever befriended.
So, they will be referred to by their personalities... Not their names.
27 year old will be referred to as Creepy Otaku. For those of you that don't know what that is, it's a guy that focuses so strongly into anime and stuff that they abandon every other interest and even begin seeing things in those terms...
29 year old will be referred to as Scary Lolicon. A lolicon is a type of person that has a... rather... particular interest to... You know what? Fuck this. Here's the Wikipedia article. Read it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolicon
33 year old will be referred to as THE DRUNKARD. Why? Because he really was one!
So, these guys were having a hangout and I was a neophite to the world of "being an adult". And we all know that being an adult means "I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and how I want", right? Right.
WELL, NO!
So, I went to this party. The evening was spent watching movies. Batman, Batman Returns, then Creepy Otaku pulled the original Ghost in the Shell movie (that movie is cool, by the way) and we watched it. Then he started philosophizing as if he understood the mind of the director... "Uh... what?" I asked myself. The themes of "What does being human mean?" and "The aglomeration of memories and feelings that constitute an individual" were lost on my companions' minds and instead, they began asking themselves "Why are we here?" and "If there is a god, why did he make us like this?" Mmmmmkaaaaaay, that discussion definitely didn't interest me one bit. Also, it was late... 11:43 when I checked the clock on the wall. I wanted to go home. Of all of us, the only one with a legit license to drive was none other than Drunkard. And he was out cold. Creepy Otaku was more than tipsy, so he was also out for the count. Lolicon was... well... let's just say he wasn't a driver. Not after the moron crashed his car against a lamp post and the sheer trauma left his mind scarred for life and couldn't sit behind the wheel. I don't blame him. Here's where the dumbassity really begins (look! I made a word myself!)
Because I'm so awesome, I will make a new entry for this word:
Dumbassity: Similar to Idiocy, only worse...
I decided to go back home. On foot. After all, I was finally an adult, and as an adult, I get to walk at night through the fucking city, right?
RIGHT!
And so I did. I bit farewell to Lolicon because the other two were asleep in a rather compromising position, which I have to add, was my idea.
And so, I went out of Drunkard's place... to my journey home...
My eyes looked at the nearly deserted streets. The only lights came from lamp posts. I was in a common residential area. I took a right, intending to go to one of the main avenues to walk in the general direction of my house. Three blocks later, I came to the realization that... it was blocked. A very tall wall had been built. It wasn't there the year before.
The wall wouldn't stop me. Why? Because it was an inanimate wall, of course! So what did I do? One of the following:
1.- Go back and look for another way
2.- Climb it and jump down
If your guess was 2, you're damn correct!
I wasn't going to let a stupid, shitty wall stop me! I climbed a nearby tree and jumped on top of the wall... What happened next? I didn't fall, actually. I landed on the rather thin wall and then climbed down. Well, more like hung from it and then dropped down. That was the second error. The first one was going back on foot.
The scenery totally changed. From a middle class neighborhood, I entered into an abandoned industrial area. There was a manufacturing plant. What they made there, I dunno. Soon, however, I would learn that in abandoned plants, gangs and similar types of people make their meeting places. Sometimes even homes.
I dropped down on the back parking lot of the plant. Very tall shutters lined the even taller walls of that building. The place smelled of feces and urine. Animals don't gather in those places to do that. Humans do. So, I started walking by the reconnoitering the place, looking for a way out. The right end was blocked by a tall fence with barbed wire at the top. No way I was going to come out unscathed from that, so back I went. To the left was another fence with the same characteristics, but the ones that used that parking lot as their urinal and dumpster had made a hole in the fence. I used it to get out.
I kept walking in a dimly lit, paved road next to the main building. The first thing I saw were homeless people more or less sleeping. A few eyed me, others ignored me, but one old man looked at me and stopped me. "What are you doing here?"
My first reaction was... stutter. "E-Eh, excuse me, I'm just..."
"Pretty shoes..." he told me as he looked at my feet. Then he raised his gaze and looked straight to my own eyes. "Why don't you give them to me?" Then he grabbed me by the sweater and pushed me against the fence. Another old man walked towards us and said "What the fuck are you doing?"
My initial reaction was very, very simple. I freaked out. My right knee rose and impacted what could only have been his family jewels, for his pained expression was completely different from his menacing look of a few seconds earlier.
By the time he got out of his surprise, I was in full run, not wanting to find out if the other old man was trying to defend me or screw me over instead of the first.
As I ran, I passed more homeless people. No one bothered me, despite being completely awake, so maybe that one was the bully of the group, who knows. Soon, though, my situation would take a turn for the worse.
As I got out of the more or less narrow road, that barely accomodated a bus sized automobile, I came out on the frontal parking lot. It was a building of three floors where cars used to be left temporarily. Now, plastic and cardboard walls partitioned the place inside, separating it so that there was sort of a building within that building.
A guy saw me. He was young, his head was shaved and had a goatee. His face had a few scars, probably from fights or something.
"Where do you come from?" He rudely asked.
"I'm... from /insert area name/"
"WHAT!? YOU FROM /insert gang name/"
I had heard of that gang. They hung around a place close to my home, but they didn't really mess with my neighborhood. Some idiots hung out with them, and even were junior members of that gang. They used to go brawling with other local gangs and some were absorbed, some weren't. In the last two years, that little gang had kinda gotten big enough to feel all strong and go pester some of the big ones. Apparently, the area I was in was affiliated with one of those big ones.
"YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS BEAT MY BIG BROTHER!" He was apparently making me responsible for whatever had happened to his older brother. The guy never gave me a chance to respond and then his fists lodged themselves in my stomach. Quite the quick hitter, he was.
I bent over from the pain and the sudden feeling of having the air inside punched out.
"You came to see what we were gonna do to yours, huh?" He kneed my head. It really hurt. Next, he kicked me on the left side, where his right fist had first hit me.
I was on the ground and he then kicked my shins, but when he was preparing for giving me a third kick, I immediately noticed he was balancing himself on only one leg as he prepared his right to kick me again. I kicked him on his left shin. The floor, covered by broken concrete blocks was not a good place to stand. Imagine standing on very small marbles. He fell on me, and hit his face with my shoulder, despite trying to land on his legs. I got him off me and kicked him on the stomach and then ran.
As I put distance between that guy and myself, a few other guys saw me and yelled at me to stop or they were going to kick my ass. After getting an ass kicking earlier, I didn't want to risk another one. I ran and ran and ran. I don't remember how many blocks I ran with those two or three guys in tow, but it must have been no more than five. I entered another residential area. This one had narrow streets and some open gates. If there is one thing I have learned from those areas, is that they mean one thing: Loose dogs.
And among the many things that scare me, one of the biggest are... precisely, loose dogs...
More in part two.
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