Kicking it Off, Android Style

What better way to start things off than with a lovable, clean-minded android?

I've always been a bit of a nerdy girl. In the past year or so, my nerdiness has only been expanding. So when fellow blogger and Phantasy Star fan Vlad showed me a plastic model of Elenor from Phantasy Star Online (fully poseable, complete with some badass weapons) on some Japanese website, I remembered that I had money in my PayPal and I went for it.

But I'd never built a plastic model before. Nor had I painted one, and we thought there was a chance that Elenor would arrive...blank.

So I placed my order at the beginning of a week. Surprisingly, Elenor was all set to be delivered to my house on Friday, but I wasn't home, so I had to go retrieve her Saturday morning. After signing NEARLY MY ENTIRE LIFE away at the post office, I eagerly brought her home and ripped through pages of customs forms to open the box.

It was worth it.

The box alone got my nerdy juices flowing.

I admired the box lovingly for a few moments, verbally bounced around the shoutbox with my e-friends for a few more moments, and then opened it up. I'll freely admit, I wasn't fully prepared for all the tiny little pieces, but I was glad to find out that everything was at least in color and I wouldn't have to do much painting.



When I texted this picture to my husband, he laughed at me.

Eventually, as is always the case, the novelty wore off, and I finally realized: oh shit. I have to build this thing now, don't I?

I consider myself a fairly crafty person. I knit and crochet like a madwoman. I make costumes for my section's bassoons for my summer gig. My future spawn will have the best art projects known to man. And above all, this couldn't be all that different from assembling IKEA furniture...right?

Oy.

So I grabbed the laptop (because I always need to be talking to people) and went into the kitchen where I had 1) a nice workspace and 2) good lighting. I assembled my various equipment and got right down to it. Before long, I had assembled PARTS! And some of them MOVED!

Elbows! And an assortment of hands! And FISTS OF FURY!



I eventually had to take a break to go run some errands, but I got right back to it when I got home. My successes were multiplying and building sweet little Elenor was sort of fun.

Hot damn, these legs are sexy.

I will also admit that the entire time, I was terrified of fucking the whole thing up and having a not-cheap, imported pile of junk taking up space in my home. The moment of truth was quickly approaching: was this actually going to stand on its own?

Doo doodoo DOO!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have android crotch. Huzzah! (Ignore the husbandshoes in the corner.) Inspired by knees that actually bend and this highly suggestive crotchshot, I kept on going, for I was at a very exciting part: Elenor's head.

Elbows are nice and all, and there's no denying the hotness of the leg/crotch combo, but I was looking forward to what makes Elenor Elenor. (And despite what fans on the internet may believe, being a Sex Robot is NOT what makes Elenor Elenor.) With much excitement, I popped out the necessary pieces.

Phantom of the Opera + Gas Mask = Android Face

Oh, she was adorable. She warmed the cockles of my heart, much like she did in-game when she taught me how to feed my MAG. I was in love. It was time to make her whole.

Her pieces slid into place nicely (okay, that made her sound like a sex toy). Everything moved smoothly, like a well-lubricated machine (oops, there I go again). And when her legs bent back...never mind, I'll stop there.

"You've lost your arms in battle!"

Okay, I had to take a picture of her without her arms, inspired by that comic where Montague fucks her without her arms attached. Which, by the way, sort of bothered me just a smidge. I wasn't surprised at all by a Montague/Elenor pairing; in fact, I was a little surprised that it had been ten years since the game came out when I first saw that little relationship depicted. But Montague always seemed like a nice guy to me. And while I'm all about the kink and power plays and whatnot, it just seemed very out-of-character for him to not let the poor girl keep her arms on while he's banging her.

Anyway.

I put her arms on. I'm a better person than Montague.

Assembly was nearing completion. All that was left was her bridesmaid-esque butt bow, the rest of her hand selection, and the weapons. The butt bow didn't always want to stay in place, but I always win. I left her to dry in a modified downward facing dog position.

Elenor: Fuck you, Jen. Arms or not, this is humiliating.

Now, I'm just about done. (And yes! She stands on her own! I told you I always win!) Next week, I'll go to the craft store and pick up some paint so I can properly finish the job. Then I will pick an appropriately badass position for her and display her prominently on my "random artistic crap" shelf, next to the candle that's shaped like an apple martini and a glass goldfish.

Tee hee! Love me!

(Unpainted) equipment for annihilating the shit out of some Diminians. That rifle is SWEET.

All in all, I had fun, but I really don't think I'll be rushing out to do another one of these any time soon. But that's okay. I have my Elenor to pose and play with and to show off to my equally-nerdy friends.

But if any of them try to remove her arms and fuck her, they will not be invited back.